In this issue we are talking with Life and Legacy Wealth Coach and Certified Financial Planner™, Katana Abbott who has a harrowing money story, which she will share with us. But rather than focus on her past, I want each of us to learn from Katana, how she became unstuck and stopped listening to the “little girl” who to this day still tries to hold her back.
The most important thing we need to understand to begin to step into our power is to understand the role of the conscious and subconscious mind.
We will learn how to get unstuck, understand the role of the conscious and subconscious mind as they pertain to our beliefs about ourselves, and how to shatter limiting beliefs by shifting our thinking and create true prosperity: health, wealth and happiness.<br><br>
Molly: Katana, what is at the heart of your money story?
I was abandoned and abused when I was a young child. My father who was a proud man worked as a roofer and many times he would not get paid. I remember my mother telling me we didn’t have money for groceries or even milk. When we ate potatoes, we gave the skins to our Labrador because we couldn’t afford dog food. Later my father joined the Army and we thought we were rich. But all that ended when I was six and my brothers four and two. My Dad was a hunter and he had gone duck hunting to bring home Christmas dinner. He never returned — he drowned. We moved to Michigan to be near family. My Mother wanted to be taken care of; she was looking for her Prince Charming. What she ended up with was a monster. From the time my mother married this man our lives were a living hell.
Often when there is domestic violence, there is also financial abuse. When my mother finally divorced my step-father, my youngest brother was in a foster home and she was homeless because my step-father had taken the equity from her home. She had lost all her government benefits, had no income and she had breast cancer.
By this time, I was on my own. Because I was technically a “war orphan”, I had free tuition to college and income from the government to help support me while I was in school.
In my third year of college, I ended up marrying my own monster. He said he loved me, but I knew in my heart that he was evil. He had been a professional student with three Master’s Degrees and needed to keep his green card. He had shown the signs, but because I wanted to be loved and taken care of I thought I could change him and married him anyway. I was just 19 and going back to the familiar.
Nine months later when I tried to leave the marriage he put me in the hospital. The detective was taking pictures of my broken and bruised face and asked me who would be picking me up. I had no one to call. I was all alone.
I was also all alone when I went to court for the criminal charges. Immigration had charges against him too and at the courthouse, he was waiting for me. He jumped into my car and threatened to track me down and kill me if I didn’t drop the charges against him. I believed him and dropped the charges.
Here I was. I had hit rock bottom. I was living in a subsidized town house with no income, no job, and a broken down car.
So how did I get from where I was back then — to where I am today? In that moment in my life when I had hit rock bottom, a miracle happened. I picked up the book, Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill and it changed my life forever. I found my burning desire and it gave me hope, faith, and I felt inspired. I learned how I could create any life I wanted if I just had a vision, did the work and never gave up.
That became the model for the rest of my life, because I am driven to succeed, a student of life, always learning and studying to improve and I never, ever give up when I have a dream.
Molly: Wow, that is some story. I am sure many women can identify with your story, but don’t know how to reclaim their power. How can they begin this process?
The most important thing we need to understand to begin to step into our power is to understand the role of the conscious and subconscious mind.
Dr. Bruce Lipton, Quantum Physicist Author, in his book The Biology of Belief explains that 95% of the time we are operating from our subconscious mind. It’s like when we are driving and talking on the phone and we miss our exit, our subconscious mind is driving the car.
We only operate from our conscious mind 5% of the time. That’s pretty scary.
Our subconscious mind is our ego. It is the place where we store all our memories and experiences. Its job is to keep us safe. But it can also keep us stuck, fearful and unable to experience the flow of abundance.
Our conscious mind is the place of reason and logic; it takes its orders from the subconscious mind which makes suggestions to the conscious mind.
Your subconscious takes in everything. It doesn’t attach good or bad, it simply records everything from the senses. When we add emotion to that belief it strengthens. If that belief is negative it can block the very things we want. It’s the job of the subconscious to manifest our dominant thoughts.<br><br>
Molly: Katana is it possible to retrain our minds to open ourselves and to stop blocking the flow?
I’ve found after working with hundreds of women, every one of them has a core limiting belief that is deep inside their subconscious, and is normally formed a long time ago, when they were a little girl. And that same belief is controlling their decisions today.
Even though it may not be true anymore. This disempowering belief is holding them back from standing in their power.
Let me give you an example: I work with a woman who is a millionaire. She is smart and gorgeous, but every time she goes to step into her power to ask to be paid what she is worth, her little girl pops up and says to her, “You better be careful. You are not good enough or smart enough. You might lose it all. This may not work.”
Molly: Oh my gosh, this is so me. Five years ago I interviewed for a job. The offer was insulting. It was less than I made ten years earlier. I stood up enough to ask for more, but did not insist on what I really deserved because my little girl did pop up and said, “You better take it because you could lose it all.” I cried all the way home, feeling angry and defeated with myself for being so frightened. I still struggle with this. How can we get over these limiting beliefs?
There is work you can do around this. You can find someone to help you to release it either through breath work or therapy. It is important to identify the limiting belief and get professional help to release it.
Molly: We hear all the time about this positive self- talk, like standing in front of the mirror and saying to ourselves “I am of value. I am worthy. I am loved.” Does that work?
Absolutely! Our words, thoughts and actions truly do determine our destiny. We are always manifesting and attracting through our thoughts. The one problem with doing affirmations, which is stating things in the positive, is that people can become very stuck when they say and repeat something like: “I am healthy, wealthy and happy”, when they are very sick, have no money in the bank, and feel very alone. It doesn’t feel authentic.
So I recommend and practice something that was developed by Noah St. John, called AFFORMATIONS®. What Noah suggests is turning that affirmation into a question. So the statement above becomes, “Why is it getting so much easier for me to feel great and take great care of myself?” “Why is it so easy for money to show up in expected and unexpected ways?” Or simply, “Why is it so easy to feel healthy, wealthy and happy?” Try this. See how the energy feels very different.
We are basically asking a question and waiting for God, Source or the Universe to answer. We create from intention but we block from our beliefs.
Molly: What can we do today, right now to open up the flow of abundance?
Watch your words. Eliminate ALL NEGATIVE words from your vocabulary.
Eliminate words that refer to scarcity and lack. Like “I can’t afford it.” Instead say “I am choosing to spend my money differently.” This has a different energy.
Molly: Why is this so important?
Your relationship with money and how you treat it will determine almost every aspect of your life. It will determine where you live, the quality of your health care, how much vacation time you have, the quality of the food you put into your body, the inner peace and freedom you will have in your life. In addition, it will affect your ability to bring your gifts out into the world, so you can make a difference, leave your legacy and experience joy.
Homework Assignment:
Identify a core limiting belief you are experiencing? Write it down. Consider how it is manifesting itself in your actions.
Where do you feel it in your body? This is a clue regarding what the feeling is. Write down what you feel in your body. For example, Molly tells me her limiting beliefs reside in her heart and when under duress and believing she is powerless, her heart actually hurts. Sometimes these feelings reside in our throat, chest and gut, as well as our heart.
For just this week, pay attention to your body. It is talking to you all the time. Take the time to listen. What is it saying? Write it down.
By Molly MacDonald
Diagnosed with breast cancer in April 2005, she was unable to start her new job as planned. Her family’s already tight budget was immediately overburdened with the addition of a monthly COBRA health insurance payments coupled with the loss of her income. As a result, she was determined to help others suffering from lost income as a result of their diagnosis and treatment. In 2006 she founded The Pink Fund, where she now serves as CEO working daily to provide help and hope to Survivors and their families. “By providing 90 days of non-medical financial assistance, making payments to the patient’s creditors for insurance, housing, transportation and utilities, we give help and hope.” Since its founding, The Pink Fund has made $845,504.45 in bill payments on behalf of 843 Survivors. For her work MacDonald has been the recipient of many local and national awards, most notably she has been named a Pink Power Mom, by Kids II and Bright Starts. She is a Purpose Prize Fellow, presented by Encore.org for social impact, and Money Magazine’s 2014 Michigan Money Hero. The Pink Fund was recently recognized as a top global cancer innovator in patient centric care by The LiveStrong Foundation for its work in helping to rebuild financial health; and was named by Time and Money, together with Charity Navigator as a one of five national breast cancer charities worthy of your donation where you can feel confident your dollars will be put to good use. A graduate from The University of Michigan in journalism, MacDonald’s past work experience includes reporting, marketing, public relations and sales. She is a mother to five adult children.